It is time to come out of denial and admit the truth. Primarily to myself and then I guess to everyone else.
I was talking to a friend the other day and came to a realisation... or rather admitted to myself that I have lost passion for this blog. I know, I know it has been obvious or a while, but this has been a hard truth to see for me, because this blog gave me so much: it gave me a creative outlet, it gave me, I can confidently say, new friends, it gave me wonderful illustration opportunities. I feel like... you know when you are in a long relationship with someone you adore and admire but are not in love with anymore. You still think they are a wonderful person but, if you are honest with yourself, you are not in it with all your heart.
I was talking to a friend the other day and came to a realisation... or rather admitted to myself that I have lost passion for this blog. I know, I know it has been obvious or a while, but this has been a hard truth to see for me, because this blog gave me so much: it gave me a creative outlet, it gave me, I can confidently say, new friends, it gave me wonderful illustration opportunities. I feel like... you know when you are in a long relationship with someone you adore and admire but are not in love with anymore. You still think they are a wonderful person but, if you are honest with yourself, you are not in it with all your heart.
I had a situation like this before, and even though I knew it was a right decision to end it, I often wondered, is it a good idea to end a relationship just because you are not in love anymore. I have friends that are married or in long solid relationships, and they all say the same thing: Pfft, I've been in love with my husband the first year, year and a half. Apparently for long relationships there is an all other package of feelings and attitudes required to make it work. I am not good at this. I realise it is childish and naive, and even dangerous, expecting strength of passion to take me to my goals ( or be enough for a long lasting love).
So I need to find a way or learn how to make things work. This is my goal for the year. In many ways I know I am somewhere half way: there is no point in turning back but It's a long and hard road in front of me. Here is a chance to learn how to persevere to the end.
P.S. Interesting fact: this post took 3 days to write and draw. In the process of procrastination I rearranged the kitchen, updated my iTunes library with some great new music, downloaded a few great movies (probably to prepare for procrastination of my next post, even though I think Wim Wanders is a great way to do it) and read every gossip magazine I got my hands on.
P.S. Interesting fact: this post took 3 days to write and draw. In the process of procrastination I rearranged the kitchen, updated my iTunes library with some great new music, downloaded a few great movies (probably to prepare for procrastination of my next post, even though I think Wim Wanders is a great way to do it) and read every gossip magazine I got my hands on.
It's always hard to reach this stage with anything that we care about, isn't it? I've seen so many bloggers going through exactly the same thing recently and I can't deny that I thought about it too recently, more than once. As someone who gets bored easily and always looks for new thrills I'm really surprised that I haven't given up my mission to keep on learning to draw, something I always knew would take me years and years to master and keeping that blog going just seems to be part of that. There are times when I really want to quit but I keep saying to my self "Stay, just stay with it, this doubt will pass."
ReplyDeleteI hope you stick around, and push through this phase that most of us reach at some point, just imagine how marvellous it will be to look back in few years time and say to yourself "I'm so glad I kept going, look at this amazing blog I've made!" :)
where ever your passions will take you...Happy New Year dear Maya!!!
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