And before you say: "Well that's stupid!", let me assure you: It's not. It's soooo embarrassingly stupid!
And here is why.
The reason I sent the message is very hippy-ish. Basically awesome festival is to be blamed! * So.. I was at a Terraneo and it was great and it was one awesome bend after another. And I loved it and loved it and loved it.... And a thought kept popping into my head. I was thinking " Life is so great, because, no matter what happened to whats-his-name** and no matter the very elegant way he broke up with me ***, he did introduce me to some GREAT music!". Because bunch of those bands I wouldn't have known about if he didn' t suggested them. He made me the coolest CD's. And I gave it a try and loved it. And I felt so so so grateful. I know I would have probably stumbled upon them myself, but I have a tendency to make up my mind before giving something a chance. For instance, I was sure I didn't like Arcade Fire because they were everywhere and everyone was talking about them and what's the big deal anyway!??! Turns out I love almost all off their songs. So yeah, I had a reason to be thankful!
But when I wrote this to him, in a shorter version and with still significant amounts of alcohol in my body all high on lovey dovey hippy hormones, it didn't sound this logical. It just sounded a bit weird as we didn't talk in couple of years and just... eeeek!.
Now, the second reason it was stupid is because of Facebook*. Although we are not friends anymore, Facebook decided to pair this message with the previous ones. So basically it's some kissy kissy stuff, my naked picture, more kissy kissy, and than 2 years later this. Am sure he doesn't want to look at this pic no more than I do, but I tell you... bloody Facebook! When I saw that, I just wanted to disappear into the earth!
So there, I told you it's even stupider than stupid. But on the good side, at least I have something to post.
* Notice how I diffuse responsibility there to an an event and inanimate object. How very grown up of me!
** Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
*** You know those ways men/boys use when they want to get out but not feel any guilt. Pick any and you won't be far off.
Like, like, like..... :)))))
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I do things like that all the time, and then I feel embarrassed for a while, but then I think... what's with all the self-editing and worrying what other people (the mister, a.k.a. the ex, but other people as well) think. it sounds like a cliche, but we only live once. let it all out. open yourself to the world. that's all that will matter in the end!
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