Back to my (round) life

Blimey, I can't wait to get back to the gym. Summer hedonism has taken it's toll on me. It's not so much that I have gained weight (although I probably did, but there is no proof cause I am not measuring anything!), it's more that all that pleasure, all the lovely food, lying on the beach, drinking wine and beer and cherry brandies, and having all kinds of sausages while drunk and having brownies for breakfast and having friends who have no concept of calories and look at me like am a weirdo when I mention oil has a bunch of them.... it just makes you... well rounder. Just all around rounder. Which wouldn't be a problem, I guess, when you start not round. But when you are already kind of round, rounder is a slippery slope. So this is why I literally need the gym. To stop any further rounding!
Am reusing this illustration from something else, but I promise this is necessary for few reasons. One is that I have been working on one illustration for quite a time now. It rarely takes that long for my illustrations but this one might be special.... or it could be absolutely shit. Not sure yet. I don't like when my illustration go into too pretty/ too cutesy territory.
Anyway you'll see.

I've sent a message to my ex boyfriend

And before you say: "Well that's stupid!", let me assure you: It's not. It's soooo embarrassingly stupid!
And here is why.
The reason I sent the message is very hippy-ish. Basically awesome festival is to be blamed! * So.. I was at a Terraneo and it was great and it was one awesome bend after another. And I loved it and loved it and loved it.... And a thought kept popping into my head. I was thinking " Life is so great, because, no matter what happened to whats-his-name** and no matter the very elegant way he broke up with me ***, he did introduce me to some GREAT music!". Because bunch of those bands I wouldn't have known about if he didn' t suggested them. He made me the coolest CD's. And I gave it a try and loved it. And I felt so so so grateful. I know I would have probably stumbled upon them myself, but I have a tendency to make up my mind before giving something a chance. For instance, I was sure I didn't like Arcade Fire because they were everywhere and everyone was talking about them and what's the big deal anyway!??! Turns out I love almost all off their songs. So yeah, I had a reason to be thankful!
But when I wrote this to him, in a shorter version and with still significant amounts of alcohol in my body all high on lovey dovey hippy hormones, it didn't sound this logical. It just sounded a bit weird as we didn't talk in couple of years and just... eeeek!.
Now, the second reason it was stupid is because of Facebook*. Although we are not friends anymore, Facebook decided to pair this message with the previous ones. So basically it's some kissy kissy stuff, my naked picture, more kissy kissy, and than 2 years later this. Am sure he doesn't want to look at this pic no more than I do, but I tell you... bloody Facebook! When I saw that, I just wanted to disappear into the earth!

So there, I told you it's even stupider than stupid. But on the good side, at least I have something to post.

* Notice how I diffuse responsibility there to an an event and inanimate object. How very grown up of me!
** Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
*** You know those ways men/boys use when they want to get out but not feel any guilt. Pick any and you won't be far off.

Festival fashions

Contrary to what you might believe, am not a festival regular. Shocker I know!  (specially after this post) But I like them a lot in theory. And every year there at least 5 I HAVE to go to. Well last year, after not going to any of them again, I said enough is enough, next year I am so there. So I picked Terraneo whose line up basically reads like my iTunes. Plus it's on the coast in the middle of the summer, so no mud, no smelly toilets, no smelly people ( people can tell you how much I hate smelly people). Just sun and summer and breeze and the beach and pear Somersby... Am happy and am happy for myself!!!
And sure am gonna don a playsuit like this one... more or less. More less than more, but in my fantasy life I totally would. I am not sure if that counts....
Am off for holiday this week. Here is to me having a great time, wink wink!

Kenzo goes great with neon pumps

Question one: is it cool or is it super pathetic that I basically draw clothes I want to wear but due to either budget issues or lack of necessary thinness ( or even in some cases, both) I don't?
Question two: isn't this shirt sooooo cool? OMG, am going all mall girl on it!!!
I swear I would wear this Kenzo tracksuit shirt with high heels. I promise! I would wear it with neon sandals or some super cool ankle boots. I would even quadruple on my ab work in order to wear it like this, without anything underneath ( although quadruple of zero is still zero, but you know what I mean).
At the moment, it's a bit too much money for a sweatshirt ($270), but am gonna keep my hawk eye on all the discount sites, it's bound to pop up somewhere. Though it's next season item so maybe I shouldn't keep my breath as I might be waiting for a good while.
In other news, am off for a holiday next week so I have and enormous amount of work to finish. Just huge! I actually have to go into that state of mind when you have to remind yourself: " Breaaathee.... You can only do one thing at a time. You'll do as much as you can, not more not less, so just breathe and work."
So I breathe and work slowly, and count days till my holidays.

Adventure that is my life

I have nothing substantial to write! Nothing! I swear.
After my birthday weekend away (that went great btw, in spite of shitty weather, because I was with great great people and got a surprise cake at midnight and got to blow the candles on it) rest of the week was back to my beloved routine. Jesus, do I love routine! Seriously, I love it, and I specially love coming back to it. It feels so cosy and safe. So am back to working during the day, running in the evening (though I learned recently what I do qualifies as jogging. But running sounds so much better, so much more fitnessy!!!!). Promising I will do yoga today and then not doing it. Getting watermelon. Having marathon conversations with the BFF who decided to take her routine to a new location. Playing Scramble and Words with friends and feeling like an evil genius master mind every time I get more than 50 points. Looking at the calendar to see how many days is left both to my current deadlines and holidays. Wondering how exactly am I going to finance the holidays. Deciding am gonna think about it later. And so on... I always think am gonna make my life less boring, but when left to my own devices, it always kind of comes down to a version of this.
Anyways...

Drunk on sun

If you are sick of me talking about how I NEED to go to the beach or how OMG SO LOVED IT at the beach, you can skip reading this. Am guessing you already saw the illustration and you can't really unsee it, so cant help you there.
Well... am off to the beach this weekend. Big possibility of rain, but like I care about such minor annoyances. Am gonna be 31 (I know, shut up!!!) on Monday so ideally I will spend the entire weekend half drunk and lying on the beech. I feel this is the best way to round up my year and think about where I am... because we know by now that no amount of drinking will stop me from thinking, right. I will reflect and ponder and muse and contemplate, and sometimes all this at the same time. But this is me, and this is one of the things that will hardly ever change. Probably, to be honest, because I enjoy the self centered-ness of it too much.... Gee when I put it like this, it doesn't sound so charming does it. Hm...I will think about it!!!
Also, I was thinking of maybe making a resolution, but a fun and silly one. Something absolutely useless and ridiculous. Will let you know what I come up with, but if you have a cool idea, do share dear friends.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Ok, I might not be a poet in Elisabeth B. Browning league, but sentiment needs to be expressed. So here it goes, ways in which I love summer.

- I love heat even though it's hard to sleep. 
- I love that flip-flops go with everything (this might be just me).
- I love all the summer clothes (even though combinations like this are off limits to at the moment), and on that note...
- I love how, paradoxically, I have better body image during the summer. Once you strip down to a bikini for the first time that year, and remember, once again, that people really care only how they look, it's all the same. All of a sudden I feel really good in my body... though probably because that is what there is, there is no "dressing slim" or hiding. That is it and it's liberating.
- I love watermelon every day breakfast, lunch and dinner.
- I love cucumber.
- I luuurve tomatoes.
- I love that I can just let my hair dry in the air (but with dubious results to be honest).
- I love that everything seems to be more carefree. Everyone baring their legs and arms makes even work seem less serious and less hard.
- I love that when I work from home I basically walk all day in a bikini.
- I love that I have at least the possibility of beach, even if I don't get there as much as I would love.
- I love that next year (every year it's next year) am gonna get a house next to the beach and will work from there and every morning and every afternoon I will go for a swim and rest of the day can go as it pleases with all the usual shit and I will be much much happier just because I was swimming that morning.
- I love when people come back from holidays and are happier than you've seen them entire year before.
- I love that ice cream is not comfort food anymore, but something you genuinely physically need (don't even try to fight me on this one!)
- I love the cloudless skies
- I love summer love. It somehow exists in the bubble of non reality, where fall seems ages away, like another lifetime when you will not be able to as free as you are in the summer and when life will be harder. It's so much easier to be in love in the summer, easier to have googly eyes for each other, easier to believe it could always be this easy.
- and in the end I love brightness that is life in the summer.