Skin deep

Here is an important piece of information about me: I have had bad skin almost my entire life. Actually that sounds wrong because at this point I don't feel like my skin is doing something to me but rather that I am doing something to my skin. And I don't know what it is.
I have had acne in one form or another since I was 12. And I am very ashamed of it. I always felt and still feel there is something wrong with because of that. I have tried every solution under the sun and never got completely rid of it.
At one point, while still living in London I managed to reduce it to very minimal levels than did some microdermoabrassion and at the ripe age of 27 had OK skin. But then a stressful time came along and it started again, and it went up and down, up and down, until last winter it started going bad again and I am now at a point where I lost almost all hope and things are... bad.
The reason I am writing this is because I want to get it out there exactly because of the shame I feel about it... and I think I am on a verge of accepting it. Accepting like people accept they have an illness. Something not too serious, but still chronic and persistent. Like type 1 diabetes. Because this is how much out of control I feel about it.
I do want to say that at the moment there are a few products that are keeping me sane and stop me from crying before I leave the house in the morning (unfortunately I don't have an illustration for each one).

1. La Roche Posay Effeclar cleanser.
2. Giorgio Armani Luminous silk foundation (This saved me during fashion week. I swear, if I didn't have it I might have not gone).
3. Vichy Dermablend foundation (stays on and has great coverage)
4. Trilogy Rosehip oil (again hope it might fix any long term damage)
5. Australian organic's Tea tree oil (I try not to be too aggressive to my skin so I go natural wherever I can)

I am remodeling

I know, I know there is no header. I am redesigning, so I constantly have to try out some new code in an effort to customize the design. I always thought why do people make such a big deal about Wordpress being different but I think I see it now: it just allows much more of the serious stuff. Blogger is great for some entry level options.You can play around with a bunch of really easy customizable options, as long as they options Blogger offers. If not, it links you to some obscure French wine making blocks and all you asked was how to get rid of the shadow on images. So yeah...

Anyways, here is some Miu MIu action from the next season. I really set myself for a challenge when I started the Alexander McQueen drawings. I tell you, pattern is hard but beehive pattern is a BITCH. Lot of trees have died in vain for me to get it right... and it's still very much an option that I won't. In the meantime feast your eyes on Miu Miu. I like it. It looks like some weird Butterfly 8 mix. Very hard around the edges though.
Off now. I need to catch some light and go for a run/hike

Sketching Alexander McQueen

I have decided to make my posts look a bit more like my process. To make it more similar to what it's like in my head and my sketchbooks. Be warned: it might get chaotic. It definitely won't be tidy. But then again if you are looking for tidy, you probably stumbled upon this place by mistake.
At the moment I am drawing the recent fashion week collections. I am working like a new mother: in little holes of time, 10 and 15 minutes I get to take from here and there. But I moved finally and I've set up my studio (first thing I did) so I should be much better with time from now on.
I love doing the collections. In my perfect universe, I would have  2 months off after each fashion week where I would just go through the models and draw and analyze the collections. And with my own photos too (even though, I have to say, Style.com does a pretty great job these days: they really have it covered from every.single.corner. So cheers for that!)
Anyways, here are the sketches for Alexander McQueen Spring / Summer 2013. The tailoring is magnificent. I love clothes that is unbelievable and totally wearable at the same time.

How to develop personal style?

No, I don't have an answer. I am asking you.

To be more specific: how do you actually follow up on what you love?

Years ago I have solved some of my issues in style by two simple decisions:

The guy from Starbucks

Just so you know what frame of mind am in at the moment:
About 2 weeks ago am meeting Milla (of Not Just another Milla) at Selfridges. I decide to come early and sit in the Starbucks across the street as Starbucks usually has the highest traffic of people  therefore a lot of faces to chose from. So I sit in one of those comfy chairs they have there with a kinda-all-right-soya cappuccino and this guy asks if the seat next to me is free. I say yes, he sits down and starts reading. Am super happy about this...  because am thinking

Am moving back home

This is the big change happening in my life at the moment.
This is the reason I've been "finding" all this old drawings. I've been packing. My place looks like a mess for weeks now with things half packed, shoes in boxes, dust everywhere...
There are completely legitimate reasons for this: I have some ideas / goals / plans that require certain amounts of money. I am working on ways to earn more money too but as I have some time frames I need to work around, I need to save up as much as I can. Off course due to my being careful / superstitious I can't say what those plans are just yet. So there...

Ever been curious at what my day looks like? Here is one

I am still under a mountain of workload.
Which is more or less fine, unless you have a blog and you need a life you can talk about. As I don't have that, I have nothing else but to write about my day.

Irony of avoiding the hard stuff

There's been some minor developments in my life (nothing very exciting, don't get your hopes up) about which am gonna report on in another post, but one of the consequences is that am packing up. So I have to go through my drawings. I sift through them every time this happens to throw away the ones that don't need to keep on living so there is less stuff to move. And I always come by some interesting stuff. It has a feeling of reading someone else's diary... not sure why.